asexuality .

A topic that has remained wholly invisible to society, historic and modern.

Though part of the extended acronym LGBTQIA+, this and intersex identity have often taken a sideline in discourse. One that, in the case of asexuality, is often muddled with aromanticism. Though both asexuality and aromanticism exist as spectrums, they exist independent of one another, emphasising the breadth of experience between individuals similar on a surface level.

For many, sexual drive and romance exist side-by-side when part of a non-casual relationship, but for others, that is a gross simplification to a complex state of mind.

For instance, one thing worth thought about is the conception that sexual and romantic drives are affected by nurture factors. This is something wholly overlooked, with emphasis from the medical field in favour of the biological cause. This may indeed be the case for some, for instance, those consistently content with a life without sex and/or romantic relations. However, for others, external factors continually shift and revolve around them.

And at this point, I can draw upon personal experience. Like many undergoing hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and/or anti-depressant medication, my sex drive has drastically adapted to changes within the endocrine system. For example, my sex drive has extensively declined in the past six-or-so years, all of which by anti-depressants and three by a cocktail of oestrogen, anti-androgynes and progesterone. Albeit an essential cocktail for my wellbeing, these have nevertheless influenced me in re-assessing my sexuality. One that I am still uncertain of.

I was never especially interested in sex or pornography as an adolescent. I was sexually active from an average age, sure, but only out of a desire to follow social convention and respond to my then-partner’s desire. How much of that was a result of a strict Christian upbringing under the guise of being a cisgender man, I don’t know, but I was nonetheless socially awkward about the whole idea of performing masculinity in the bedroom. Which does beg the question of what extent nurture plays in the theatre of sex. In that, despite having transitioned, my lack of sex-thusiasm persists. I hope that you enjoy the pun.

Asexuality is something which a surprisingly high number question in themselves at some point in their lives, cis and trans alike. Some remain unresolved but many identify as such for the long-term. And why shouldn’t they if the conception applies well to their life and personal situation? Not everyone likes sex or romantic relations for themselves, and that’s okay. Individuals are inherently individual.

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